this is a -- this is a milestone night for us here. it's our 1,500th show tonight. [ cheers and applause ] to put that in perspective, it only takes 1,100 show for them to pick an "american idol," so -- 1,500 is a lot. and just goes to show you what you can accomplish with a video of a high-ranking abc executive with a transvestite. anything. so, from joe millionaire to kim kardashian to snooki, from gary coleman and sarah palin, thank you from the bottom of my heart for keeping us going. oh, hand me the crow bar. i remember this. after our first show, i wrote a note to myself and i buried it under the stage to be opened on our 1,500th show. so -- let me just -- oh. all right. all right. i think i've done some terrible damage here. i buried it really well. okay. oh, there it is. okay. great. here we go. ugh. i buried it in the 1800s. all right. here we go. it says -- i don't remember what i wrote here. it says, oh, nice, it says, you'll never make it. ps, you should really follow through on that idea you had for creating a social netwo